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The Rabbit Hole
Synopse Having just broken up with Ethan and officially now without a job, Erica is moving onto the next phase of her life as a currently single woman who is entering into a new business venture - 50/50 Press - with Julianne with neither partner having much capital to go into this venture. But as Erica moves onto this new phase in life, which was encouraged by her sessions with Dr. Tom, she also moves onto the next phase of her therapy. This second phase entails a form of group therapy with Dr. Tom's other patients - Adam, Camilla, Darryl and Rebecca - of whose existence Erica had no idea prior to meeting them. This group therapy includes supporting and critiquing the others in their processes, which sometimes entails going back in time with them to deal with whatever their issues. As Erica wants to jump into this phase head on despite feeling somewhat unprepared to do so, Dr. Tom sends Erica back with Adam... Full Plot Erica chooses a door, walks in, and finds herself in a room with chairs. Rebecca walks in and introduces herself, as do Darryl, Camilla, and Adam. Erica is confused, and Darryl explains she's ready to start phase 2 - group therapy. Rebecca: We learn from each other because we've all been through the same thing with Dr. Tom. Erica is surprised to learn they are also Dr. Tom's patients, and asks how many phases there are. and Dr. Tom, who has appeared, says three. In the third phase, you become a doctor. Camilla notes in group therapeutic practices there is recognized empathy, learning about self through helping others. Adam says they're bona fide bulls--- detectors who say it like it is. Dr. Tom asks Erica to tell everyone where she is. She says she's excited to start Phase 2 but Adam notes she's nervous, defensive and hiding something. She accuses him of picking on her, he asks her to be honest. Erica: Why would I lie? Adam says it's hard to be honest in a room full of strangers. Dr. Tom decides it's enough and calls it a day. Goblins: Dave and Ivan are debating - more tables = more customers versus a more intimate setting. They just bought Goblins and are renovating. Erica realizes Dave and Ivan are a couple. This is the first day of Erica and Julianne's new business as equal partners. Since Julianne has been doing this since age 19 she brings contacts and ideas. She suggests hitting the ball at AGO, a festival for authors. Erica mentions her ideas for analyzing book stores, but Julianne says they're better off going the e-publishing route (Kindle, iPad) since books need to be barcoded and inventoried, requiring money. Seth Newman walks in and is excited that they're discussing his manuscript. Julianne asks what he knows about ebooks, and Seth says he loves them, he downloads everything. At the AGO festival, Julianne instructs Erica not to name names and keep things general. She then goes to talk to Katie's agent and asks Erica to get them drinks. Erica does so and runs into Brent who admits he's not perfect, but her firing from River Rock was his biggest mistake. He offers to talk to Frank Galvin and get her her job back. Erica tells him she doesn't want her job back, they're starting their own publishing company. Brent says: as Julianne's assistant? Erica rebuts: as equal partners. She's upset and says she wouldn't take her old job back even if he begged. And Seth's manuscript that he turned down? They're publishing it, and it will be huge. She says she doesn't need his help or pity. Erica finds herself in group session. Dr. Tom: Tell us what just happened. Erica: He's a former colleague, I told him to shove it. They ask how she feels and she tries evading, saying she's uncomfortable. What about the regrets, her list, and time travel? Dr. Tom informs her she'll still go back, sometimes alone, sometimes in pairs or groups. Darryl: We push each other. Camilla: We help each other without taking over. Erica decides: let's do this! I'm up for a challenge. Adam and Erica will be partners. Dr. Tom asks if the date May 21, 2002 means something, and it's the day Adam's mom died, and she died alone. His dad and mom had divorced, his little brother John was in jail, and he was on the job, working for Hastings. Later he got a message on his phone that his mom had died. This time, he would be there. Back in Adam's past, Adam and Erica are running from the police because Adam was an enforcer for a loan shark, and he would beat up people or take their stuff if they couldn't pay. In this case he did both and had a bag of Rolex watches. Erica: Is it always like this? I'm not used to being dropped in the middle of Tarentino film! Adam drops the bag off with Hastings. Hastings tells Adam he has another job for him, but Adam tells him he needs to take the rest of the day off, that his mom is dying. Hastings: She's dying and you're here. Like this is important. Go, be with her. Come back when you're ready. Outside, someone propositions Erica, and Dr. Tom intervenes and says she's not interested. He flashes a gun and the guy leaves. Erica says she didn't need rescuing and Dr. Tom shows her he had a squirt gun, and says he wanted to see how she was doing. Erica says it's early, they're not at the hospital yet. And, she's said goodbye to a dying relative before so she thinks she can help Adam. At the hospital, Adam is talking to a nurse. Erica comes out to tell him his mother's awake. His mom is glad and says she didn't think she'd see him again. She gets emotional and Adam flees, ostensibly to get her a can of ginger ale. Erica asks if everything is OK, and Adam says no, he shouldn't have come here. The conversation becomes tense. Erica says she knows it's hard, she lost her brother, Adam says it's different, his mother is old. Erica confesses she did everything to avoid the pain. She notes he is flirting with nurses, everything to avoid being in that room with his mom. Adam explodes: You're an expert after one session? He tells her to go. Erica goes to an elevator and finds herself back with the remaining group. Erica: So clearly I did that wrong. I'm not sure how I'm expected to do this. Dr. Tom: You asked to be thrown in. Erica: I don't deserve to be here. Once again the group confronts Erica about how she feels. She says she doesn't know but they don't think that's true. Darryl admits his first time in group he vomited. Camilla said she was guarded. Erica: I feel frustrated, overwhelmed, why are you looking at me like that? The group insists she feel all of it. Rebecca: Don't close up, listen to whatever you're feeling. Erica howls: I don't want to feel. Dr. Tom says that may be true, but ignoring it won't make it go away. Erica looks at Dr. Tom and says: I'm angry. With you. You did this. You came into my life, made me trust you, and now I find out I'm not the only one? I told you that I was ready, that I wouldn't let fear hold me back. But all I can feel is this horrible fear, that I can't run a company, can't be alone, can't do this without you. I'm not ready to be here. Dr. Tom: Erica, don't you see, you are ready. You just proved that. Erica: How? By bawling and saying how stupid I feel? Dr. Tom: No, by facing it, admitting it out loud to us. To yourself. Erica: OK. So, now that I've said what I feel, how does that help me? Dr. Tom: The question is, how is that going to help Adam? Erica finds herself back in the hospital. Adam is sitting in the hallway, and says I told you to go. Erica admits she handled everything badly and asks if she can sit. I feel like I don't know how to help you, I'm way out of my league. Adam: It's death, no one knows how to deal with it. Erica: Before when I first walked into group, you said how hard it is to be honest with what you're feeling. It's awful, it's hard, but is that all that's going on here? I don't think it is. I'm not going to judge you, Adam. Adam: I hate her. She was an awful mother. My dad beat us and she let it happen. She stood by, didn't stop it. The reason I worked the day she died was so I wouldn't have to be here and pretend to care, because I don't. Erica: If you don't care, then why are you here? Why is this a regret? He mulls this over, then goes into his mom's room, holds her hand, and she wakes up. Erica returns back to AGO festival. Julianne is talking to Katie's agent, sees Brent, and tries to leave but he accosts her, congratulating her on their business venture and signing Seth Newman. When Julianne finds Erica she berates her: Have you lost your mind? Talking to Brent when we have no signed deal with Seth? We're partners, this affects me too. Voiceover: From the first moment we come into this world, we feel pain, joy, fear, rage. We hide feelings that frighten us from others, then ourselves. We live lives distant from our deepest feelings. What if we allow ourselves to feel fully...? At Goblins, Erica is apologizing to Julianne: two years ago, I was stuck in every way possible. I'm on top of the world and the next day I feel like an imposter. You've done this since you were 19, one day you'll wake up and realize I'm useless. Julianne admits: Part of me is terrified. Erica is surprised that Julianne doesn't show it. Julianne: that doesn't mean I don't feel it. None of this would happen without you. You bring this incredible eye for talent and amazing way with people. You complete me. Erica is grateful but is also worried as they haven't always been equals. Julianne asks her to spell it out, and Erica tells her how she felt when Julianne asked her to get drinks. Julianne apologizes, and they both agree they're figuring out how to make this work. Back at River Rock, Seth goes to see Brent, who wants to make an offer. Seth doesn't want to get in the middle of their war, and Brent warns him about signing his name to nothing. Julianne and Erica are discussing budget and renting office space, which Dave overhears. Dave and Ivan are renovating the back area into an office, and offers the space to them for $1500. It's too much, so Dave then offers $1000 a month, lattes included. Erica goes to enter her apartment, and finds herself in Dr. Tom's office. Dr. Tom: You look happy. She tells him she had a good talk with Julianne, that in the moments before she talked she thought she was going to die. She was afraid of looking stupid or silly, of being vulnerable. Some things hard to admit even to yourself, let alone saying out loud. Dr. Tom: Like the fact that you're upset I have other patients. She asks about Adam, and realizes they both learned from each other. Dr. Naadiah walks into Dr. Arthur's office, concerned about Dr. Tom. She thinks Erica should be doing phase 2 with her, and Dr. Arthur notes her concern but says for now, denied. Category:Season 3 Episodes